Here is the play-by-play I jotted down and posted to Facebook WHILE the Oscars were going on.
***************************
#1 – Christoph Waltz from Inglourious Basterds.
Score one for either Nazis or The Awesome Movies of 2009 Club.
DECISION: WIN.
#2 – Up.
Didn’t really have any competition.
I bet this movie was made years ago, but waited until Nemo, Shrek, The Incredibles, etc. were all gone in order to have a chance.
DECISION: WIN.
#3 – The Crazy Heart theme song.
It must be disappointing being handed your first and probably only Oscar by Miley Cyrus.
Unfortunately, everything from The Princess and The Frog was better.
DECISION: FAIL.
#4 – The Hurt Locker for writing.
Obviously a tough group, but an explosive contender.
Get it?
Explosive?
A movie about bombs?
Unfortunately, Inglourious Basterds rewrote HISTORY and made it awesome.
And you just know that story made a lot of Jews feel cool.
DECISION: FAIL.
#5 – Music by Prudence as the best documentary short.
Um I’m sorry I can’t comment right now…
Ben Stiller dressed as a Na’vi just walked onstage.
DECISION: FAIL to Mr. Stiller.
# 6 – Logorama.
I happened to think this was better than all of Fantastic Mr. Fox.
So was A Matter of Loaf and Death.
I don’t understand why this is such a small category.
DECISION: WIN.
#7 – Star Trek for best makeup.
Really?
It was just that one guy.
How about ZOMBIELAND?
And I don’t see why the makeup nominee people have to sit way in the back.
The nerds of the film industry?
DECISION: FAIL, but I guess I just don’t like the nominees.
#8 – The guy who adapted Precious.
I would not at all be surprised if a white lady from Miami wrote this.
OMG MORGAN FREEMAN IS FALLING ASLEEP!
Awesome.
DECISION: FAIL, since District 9 in “long” movie form was the best idea ever.
#9 – Mo’Nique.
It’s about reaching and pushing potential, so yeah.
I don’t think she thought she could do it, so *applause*
DECISION: WIN.
#10 – The New Tenants.
I didn’t see any of the nominees.
I saw Dwayne Johnson, though.
So…
DECISION: WIN.
#11 – Costumes go to the Young Victoria lady.
That reminds me, I need to go see The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus.
DECISION: WIN, since an iPad commercial followed that up.
#12 – Avatar for art direction.
DURRRRR.
DECISION: WIN.
#13 – The Hurt Locker for sound editing.
Probably the most complicated, but guess what…
DECISION: WIN.
#14 – … IT’S ITS SECOND ONE!
Imagine how cocky that guy feels.
The sparse gunfire and explosions as compared to TRANSFORMERS?!
DECISION: FAIL.
#15 – Avatar for best cinematography.
I’m confused as to why James Cameron isn’t up there, but that’s cool.
I’ll just Google this guy.
DECISION: WIN, but I wish there was an “obvious” option.
#16 – Up for original score.
DUDE.
Linkin Park created “New Divide” for Transformers.
Huge loss in the Awesomeness category.
DECISION: FAIL.
#17 – Avatar for art direction.
Congratz to the world of 3D.
DECISION: WIN.
#18 – The Cove for best documentary.
We watched Food, INC. in Rhetoric, so I’m just glad that didn’t win.
DECISION: WIN.
#19 – The Hurt Locker for film editing.
Does anybody else feel like Avatar is getting the snub a lot since a lot of it is animation/computer generated?
DECISION: FAIL.
#20 – E l Secreto de sus Ojos.
Oh, man, LOL…
Did you see him?
For a second there, he was like, “Which way is the stage?”
Oh, man.
I’m sorry, but that earns a DECISION: FAIL.
#21 – I predicted the Jeff Bridges = Best Actor award…
I’m surprised.
But the guy earned / deserved it.
DECISION: WIN.
#22 – The Devil Wears Prada is one of my guiltiest pleasures / favorites, so it was kinda cool seeing Mrs. Streep.
However, it went to..
WHAT?!
Out of nowhere, it’s Sandra Bullock.
It’s her first, so I guess…
You know.
Um…
Mmm…
Sandra, I’m really happy for you, and I’m a let you finish, but it would’ve been awesome if Gabourey Sidibe won…
DECISION: FAIL.
…Interesting acceptance speech.
#23 – Mad crazy props to Kathryn Bigelow.
That movie was INTENSE and psychologically crazy, so *tips hat.*
Righteously earned first female winner.
DECISION: WIN.
#24 – I really thought Avatar was going to win…
Instead, my favorite of the year did, so awesome…
The Hurt Locker is the best film of 2009.
DECISION: WIN.
That’s all we have time for… Good night!
**************************************************
Thanks for reading all this, if you did; I know it was kinda long.
For updates and positivity, SUBSCRIBE!
Link on the sidebar to the right, just enter your e-mail address for an e-mail whenever a new post comes out.
***************************************************
Robert Downey, Jr., is on Jimmy Kimmel, so I’m gonna stop here.
;)
